BEAR BUTT KODIAK STRAPS

$22.97
Availability: Out of stock

 

IF YOU'RE USING ROPE YOU'RE JUST PLAYING YOURSELF

Seriously Bear’s Built These Hammock Straps With Polar Bear
Strength and Panda Bear Softness, You Won’t Find a Higher
Quality Hammock Strap in this Galaxy.

YOUR LOCAL HIPPIE ENDORSES US...

If you're a Hippie you already know, If not ask the hippie down
the street from you rockin' some Rasta colors. If You want to live
the Hammock life, It's Bear Butt or die. Seriously be Chill and Adventurous.

WE KNOW YOU LOOKED AT OTHER STRAPS...

No We Don't Feel Betrayed, We're Just Hoping that You Can Support
A Small Start Up Company Reach Some Dreams. Our Bears Even
Skipped Out On Hibernation To Put Together These 10 Foot Long
x 1 Inch Wide Hammock Tree Straps. Each Equipped with 20 Loops
And Yes This Product Was Tested on Animals. That's Why We Added
Heavy Duty Triple Stitched Seams That Hold 1000 pounds(However
We have tested higher for 1200 POUNDS or two of our kid-friendly Panda Bears.)

GRIZZLY STRENGTH? WE THINK SO

Over the Mountains and Through The Woods To Bear Butt’s Sweat Shop
We Go... Our Leading Team Of Black Bears Designed A Tubular Polyester
Strap(Whatever the Heck that Means) And Having Our Products Tested In
The Alaskan Wilderness We Know They're Tough, They Don’t Absorb Water,
Mildew, Or Deteriorate From UV Light. DISCLAIMER: Testing On Animals Is
More Accurate Than Testing On Humans, Sorry Animal Activists...
The Bears were Paid well...

QUIT PRETENDING YOU KNOW HOW TO TIE KNOTS, GIRL SCOUT

You and I Both Know That The Only Knot You Know How To Tie Is On Your Shoe.
Treat Yourself Like A Cool Kid And Snag Some Bear Straps It TAKES
LESS THAN ONE MINUTE TO SET UP, So Quit Wasting Time Buttercup
And Add It To Your Cart...

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